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проверьте эссе, пожалуйста! Вот тема "in any occupation discipline is more importantthan talent"

10-11 класс

Yankovskiirusl 15 окт. 2013 г., 11:47:18 (10 лет назад)
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15 окт. 2013 г., 13:17:47 (10 лет назад)

 firstly ни к чему,просто people used to think,или initially people thought,necessary in life
of course there are geniuses или of course geniuses exist,not disciplined 

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Проверьте пожалуйста моё эссе, которое я писала на егэ. Пунктуацию, орфографию и т.д. я оставила прежними. Завтра апелляция и нужно знать, на что

обратить внимание мне при оспаривании. Учительница толком ничего не объяснила. Поставили 5 из 14 баллов, по каждому критерию 1 балл. Тема такая: In any occupation discipline is more important than talent.

In the modern world some people think that congenital gift is the most significant quality for every profession. However, other believe that compliance with rules and procedures are more serious. But in my point of view it is not really true.

I personally think that every human has a talent. To begin with, it does not matter which, but each of them is really important in our life. As well, following discipline is the part of success, but not in all areas. Some people have a predilection to art. For example, many art workers, they are dependent on muse. For this reason, discipline is not important in occupation.

On the other hand, many business people are sure about their luck thanks to planning and responsibility. This kind of work has many set rules. Therefore, many successful people are really punctial.

However, I do not agree with the opposing opinion. Certainly, life is very unpredictable and hard. Thus, gliding is not the best way in every specialization. History shows many doers of art, who were a professionals in their deals. For example, Alexander Abdulov not always learnt a text of script before survey. He can put his text somewhere on the film set and periodically pry into it. Even so, he was a great actor.

In conclusion, I want to stress that talent is more foreground. Discipline can come with time. Because as a famous proverb says: “Talanted person is talanted in all”.

Помогите,пожалуйста с CONCLUSION? и проверьте эссе в целом. Experience of my life My name is Anna. I am 18 years old. I am from Russia. I

find myself a powerful person. Becoming me as a strong personality began in childhood when I started to play volleyball. Our team had to "fight for place" in the starting lineup, where you must show leadership qualities. Doing this sport for a long time, I have become stronger and smarter person. I can also add that I learned very well to adapt fast to the situation, I can feel where I can say something, comment, add and where I shouldn't do it. What is more, I am very emotional, but a lot of feelings I keep inside. In a stressful situation for some time I can be suppressed like any another person, but I try to treat everything positive. Besides, I am very caution. Before I do something, I think about future repercussion. Nevertheless, one should accept that I am purposeful. If I have a goal, I will achieve the goal any ways and any methods. Despite any qualities, I am afraid of the terrible situations that can happen in our lives. So, this story will be about the fear of my life.

I had some experience in my life when I was really scared. It happened in Los Angeles in 2010. It was summer time. I have been studying English in a language school. When I arrived from school to my home, I went to cafe. One guy fixedly looked at me for a long time... I thought: "It is ok! It is not a reason for worry". I have just decided to change this cafe to a different place. When I went out, he went with me. I was in shock. In a result, I decided to come back home. This guy followed me and shouted something. I began to run where I saw people. When he saw that I haven't already been alone, he stopped to go after me. Then I came home and couldn't believe that this situation happened to me. I can't even imagine what would happen if I didn't see the people and wouldn't go in their direction. I remember that after this incident, I was depressed for a long time. I never told anyone of close people about it. I didn't want them to be worry. Nowadays, I am so happy that everything ended good and I'm scared to be solitary in unknown places.

I have changed as a person and I can feel the changes myself. I became to see many situations in my life on the other hand. For example, before when I listened something about similar situations, I didn't understand all... So, I became more careful to my life. I began to appreciate life more. Now I try not to walk alone in the evening in unfamiliar places. We can't know everything that can happen to us, so we need to value every moment.

To sum up, I believe that we will finally solve all our problems and will live happily. We must take good care of our life and be careful everywhere.

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Проверьте, please, моё мини-сочинение.

I haven't a favorite television programm, but I like to watch various documantaries about travel, space, nature and people.
In my opinion it is more interesting than silly TV show, for example, "Let's get married", "House two" etc.
Also, documentaries give us some experience and new knowlege.
I can wathc all that interests me on channels "Discovery", "National Geographic" and "My planet"



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